Why Success Hinges on Selective Association

+ 4 Ways To Surround Yourself With High Performers & Detach From The Average

Ryan Fahey
7 min readFeb 11, 2020


Choose wisely.

This is advice you probably heard from your parents or a TV show at some point in your life.

However, what if I told you your response to this statement meant the difference between being extremely successful and being a third of what you really want to be in life. Would you take the advice of “choose wisely” a little more seriously?

We live in a dis-eased society that tends to tell us to love everyone, be more social and have a strong sense of community. Don’t get me wrong — I am all for a strong sense of community and social life. But, it's who we choose to socialize with that matters the most throughout our life.

If we spend our time with top performers, we will become top performers.

If we spend time with ‘average’ performers, we will continue to be average versions of ourselves.

Just take a moment and think about this. Do you really want to become and stay an average version of yourself? Or would you like to become the person you were always meant to be? It would be a complete disservice to your future self to become old and know you could have done more with the time you had, the gifts you possessed, and the assets you had around you.

Why is this?

Because life left on the table is not a life fully lived.

You have probably heard this before but we really become the sum of the five individuals closest to us. And just as we choose spouses, schools, jobs, and cars selectively, we need to do the same with our friendships and associations as well.

If you want to truly become successful, one of the few things that you can control along that path is the people around you helping you navigate that journey.

Many people allow those they inherited around them as a child to become the people who are in their lives at old age regardless of whether they really added value throughout the majority of their life or not. They were just ‘around’ so it became the norm. It was familiar — but not necessarily mutually beneficial.



Ryan Fahey

Amazon Best-Selling Author | Consultant | Speaker | T: @Wellnessrf | Latest book — https://www.faheyconsulting.org/books